Looking back at 2010,its like a blink of my eye. so fast, before i could even think, i changed my job, everything surrrounding me is different now. Not to mention i have a baby in my life now,haha actually 2 babies, big and small both adorable.I have a family now,i was alone before, now filled with cute noises they both love to make..Sooo cute, to watch them both make the sounds together, like mother, like baby.
At the beginning, my eyes was so teary, heart filled with so much doubts, so afraid what the future would have for us, as i hugged her so tightly, after she told me she is expecting.Its scary when you don't know what to expect, it makes you think alot, how we're gonna handle things, whats gonna happen to us both.
Back then i thought we were never gonna make it thru, somehow we would just fall apart, and our love would fade away affected by all the overturns in life. I couldnt see our future together too, my faith was dying away everyday. As i watched you suffer everyday, and your belly getting bigger, i never thought it was gonna be this hard just by seeing you going thru all that. Your emotions getting bigger each day, temper getting rough, throwing fix every now and then.
Sometimes you would just explode, and attack me with your anger, like a cannon ball, so scary,but then after all the explosion, you started to weep, showed me your soft side, as you let your emotions all out. I don't know what you were going thru, but to see you going thru all that changes, kills me deep inside day by day.So i kept telling myself i ain't gonna leave you, no matter what, i knew you needed me the most that time, so i chose to endure your pain with you, i dont blame you for hurting, i wanted to help, i wished i could take the pain all the away, wish i could stopped you from losing your appetite, stopped all the vomiting, but im only human, all i could do is to show that i care, im not going anywhere, always be there when you needed me.
It wasnt easy to make you happy anymore, but i didn't care, i wasnt going to give up at all,just wanted to give you my best to take care of you.I cant tell you how much i love you baby, because was never enough to describe how i felt bout you, i hoped you could felt it from my heart.
Many times you asked me to leave, tell me how much you hated me, tell me you dont need me at all, all you wanted was for me to leave. I know that aint true, i know you would be lost and hopeless without me, i knew its your anger talk again. Deep down you're crying out out for me, hoping so much i would stay,and wishin we can make it thru together. I always knew that baby, you needed me, no matter how much you love denying it.
Im soo glad we've made it thru, whats the best memory of 2010? It was the night i knew you were okay, and baby was healthy, it was the greatest relief for the ten long months i've been constantly worrying about, think i grew more grey hair by worrying bout you girls, my precious darlings.
It seems like only yesterday, your belly was so big and round like a big ball, oh how much i loved rubbing and kissing it. SO belly cute, my sweet darling.WAHAHAHA i cant wait to see you soon my precious treasures. LOve YOU 2 SOOO DAMN much, most important ladies in my life.
